My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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