Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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