I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Who died my cat blue again?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize