ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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