all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
sarcasm needs its own font
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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