i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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