i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
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You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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