I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You can't special order awesome
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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