I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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