There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize