My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize