I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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