His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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