I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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