it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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