Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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