Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize