Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize