Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
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You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drake has all the answers
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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