and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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