if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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