help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize