I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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