He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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