Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize