think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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