when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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