So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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