when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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