dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize