i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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