i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
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Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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