There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
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Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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