we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
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His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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