Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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