It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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