why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize