So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize