I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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