I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
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Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
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I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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