It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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