i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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