You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my phone needs a breathalizer
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize