I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize