I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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