Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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