Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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