so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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