I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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