i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize